I’m thirty. True, only one more day older than I was yesterday, however this year is somewhat of a benchmark in my life. My first 10 years is becoming hazy to put it gently. However, through the fog and pollution I can remember a few details.
I was 8 when I first heard the word Cancer. It’s funny; it’s very clear and distinct. I was playing with a fisher price train set in the kitchen when my parents wanted to sit me down to talk about the “C” word… and so, the crazy story of faith and hope and love began in my life.
As I reflect back on the last 30 years of my personal inventory, I have a huge variety of love and hate, death and life, good decisions and poor decisions, times when I followed the rules and times when I broke the rules. To share a few; when I was 13, the year was 1994, my dad was gone to run errands and I was the man left to rule the house. I thought it would be a good idea to build a fire and “grill out” over the open flame. The only problem, it was raining. “Not a problem for me” I said to myself, being the problem solver I was. I decided to build the open flame under the enclosed garage. Needless to say, the house nearly burned down. This was one of the first times I had made a poor decision and instead of strong belt to my back side, my dad issued a different kind of discipline, I heard the phrase, “I’m disappointed in you.” Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last time I heard those words or saw this look from my Dad. In the midst of the disappointment, I also heard encouragement and joy from my dad’s voice. Rewind to 6th grade, I think I was 10, I attend a private school. At the end of the year, there was an awards ceremony to acknowledge the Honor roll and different academic achievements through the past year. One of the biggest awards was the Christian Character Award. To my surprise I was elected among my peers and teachers to carry this title. My Family was proud, I was surprised. “I was so surprised but I clearly remember the joy and pride from my whole family.”
Quick Hits from my memory:
I have driven four brand new cars off the show room floor and have had a car payment every month since I was 16 (Not happy about this!). While having this responsibility, my first job was as a grocery store bagger earning $3.75 an hour then a shoe salesman for Footaction pulling down $5.15 an hour. I fell for a get rich quick scheme of “packing envelopes” and lost $24.00. From there I took a job as painter for $7.00 an hour. In high school I was Vice President of FCA and the following year President of FCA. I played basketball on the JV team until my senior year. I once was called up to play on the Varsity over Thanksgiving break, but never made it into the game. (I have the local paper to prove this point!) I have played in 250+ soccer games since the age of 8. I once donated my entire life savings, ($200) when I was 11, to a missionary that spoke at our church. I have been on TV 4 times; 3 of which I was at the Texas Rangers game with a painted “G” on my chest. I was the ‘G’ of Gonzo. The 4th time I was at a local Krispy Kreme grand opening, where I camped out all night to get a year supply of donuts. I have had credit card debt that topped $6000, I also experienced the joy and pain of paying off the credit card company, (school debt is another story!). I have been in enrolled in college, both undergrad and graduate school, at least part time, for the last 11 years.
I have also experienced loss in my life. I have lost two grandparents and both parents. I have seen the last breath of one grandparent and also of my Dad. After watching death settle in, I was reminded just how close death is to life. It has affected me deeply and changed my outlook on life.
I have loved and been loved. There have been many girls growing up to taught me about love and to them I am thankful. However, for me it was love at “second sight” (the first time there was a weird hat covering up her face) when I laid eyes on my wife. Of course, she needed some convincing that I was her knight in shining armor, but eventually she gave in and I married above my level. It’s been three and half years and I have seen true A’hava love. She is a woman with an amazing work ethic, passion for life and truly loves with a selfless love that can only come from deep foundations of faith.
One of my favorite Old Testament biblical stories is when Joshua is leading the people out of the desert, but in order to do so they must cross over the Jordan River which at the time was in a flood stage. As the story goes, they cross over on dry land and God directs Joshua to lead the people in building a alter of stones, from the river bed, to serve as a sign of where God showed up and lead His people into the promise land. The last 30 years for me have been full of surprises— some good and some bad. My first half of life is approaching the end and I must say it was not an easy road to travel. I experienced great pain and loss, it’s been real and it’s been extremely hard. However, looking back at these times of loss, I always remember and see my altar where God Provided. God has not forgotten and today I remember his mighty work. I’m not sure of what future joys or trials are awaiting me, but of this I am sure; God is good and He is enough.
